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Getting to an Abundance Mindset

Scarcity and abundance mindsets color how you see the world.

When you possess a scarcity mindset, the constant drive is to get more for yourself. You think about yourself more than anything or anyone else and end up miserable. A scarcity mindset restricts growth, giving, and happiness. Those with a scarcity mindset are generally fearful, negative, and focused on what they don’t have.

When you possess an abundance mindset, your drive is to provide for those around you and make the world a better place. While everyone must think of themselves in some capacity, an abundance mindset motivates you to help those around you. People with an abundance mindset enjoy life much more than those with a scarcity mindset. Those with an abundance mindset are generally hopeful, positive, and focused on the things they do have.

Starting from Scarcity

Simon Sinek illustrates scarcity vs. abundance in a story about bagels in NYC. He and a friend ran a 5K race through NYC one weekend. At the end of the race, an outdoor stall was giving away free bagels to racers. Simon immediately hopped in line, eager for the free bagel. His friend, on the other hand, wouldn’t join him because the line was so long.

Simon’s friend saw the long line.

Simon saw the free bagel.

Simon’s friend saw the negative, the time it would take to wait, what it would cost him.

Simon saw the positive, the excellent free bagel, what he wanted.

Would you wait in line for 10-15 minutes to get a free bagel?

A scarcity mindset limits your growth and achievement throughout life. You don’t get to where you want to be because it’s too HARD. You might feel like you don’t have the right resources or privilege, even when what you need is within your grasp. You’re afraid to reach out and get what you need to succeed. Maybe you’re afraid of losing something. Maybe you’re afraid of failure. Maybe you have a fear of the unknown.

Don’t be afraid to reach out and get what you need to succeed.

Isn’t that easy to say? It’s much harder to do.

…But you can learn to be in control of your mindset. And your mindset will take you where you want to be.

An abundance mindset comes from a deep sense of personal security and a belief that there will always be enough for everyone. People with an abundance mindset tend to feel secure and confident about their decisions, their situations, and their future.

How can you get to abundance?

Let’s get into practicalities. How do you go from scarcity to abundance? Below are five ways to change your mindset, so you can achieve what you want to achieve in your life, your marriage, and your finances.

1. Identity: Who are you?

I didn’t ask what you’re trying to do or what you’re trying to achieve. I just asked you, “Who are you?” What is your identity? What do you believe about yourself?

You are enough. You are able to learn what you need to learn. You can succeed.

We’ve all done stupid stuff. We’ve all made mistakes. Your mistakes do not define who you are. YOU define who you are.

When you know who you are, you’ll know what to do.

Often, I talk to clients who don’t know who they are. They haven’t thought about it before. Start now. Take a simple exercise to think through who you want to be.

Once you know who you are and who you want to be, you’ll know what to do.

That takes us to the second way to change your mindset: growth.

2. Growth: Find the lesson and learn it

When you’re stuck in a scarcity mindset and something goes wrong, it’s easy to wallow in self-pity. It’s even glamorized in our society! We’ve all seen someone get dumped and cry into a pint of ice cream. If you do this every time, it’s not healthy and it’s holding you back.

Didn’t get the promotion? Ice cream won’t help you here. Figure out why. What were they looking for? Maybe it wasn’t a good fit right now or maybe you need to grow and learn something new.

Failure is a signal that you need to learn something. In my life, I had 8 failed relationships before dating my amazing husband. I learned what I needed in a life partner. I actually had a list of attributes and character traits that was pie-in-the-sky to me at the time, and my husband checks every box.

Do you know what else changed? I became the person a person like my husband wanted to date and marry. I changed. I learned and grew. I consistently chose to be a different person.

“Successful people do consistently what others do occasionally.” Craig Groeschel

But learning the lesson isn’t good enough to get to an abundance mindset. You need to learn and then change consistently. Do different stuff consistently. Find the right way forward and take steps in that direction every single day.

It’s much easier when you surround yourself with positive, growth-oriented friends.

3. People: Surround yourself with positive friends

Do your friends learn new things? Did any of them learn how to make sourdough bread during the coronavirus pandemic? Are your friends constantly succeeding in life, learning how to get from point A to point B consistently?

Those are the friends you want around. They’re growth-oriented. They’re go-getters. They see what needs to be done, they learn how, and then they do it.

If you’re constantly seeing the negative, surround yourself with folks who see the positive in different situations. You’ll pick up the same attitude. You’ll be able to focus on the good, instead of ruminating over the bad.

“Now and then, it’s good to pause in our pursuit of happiness and just be happy.” Guillaume Apollinaire

If you notice your friends are generally happy and find opportunities everywhere, those are great friends to keep! Choose a group of people who will help you become a better person.

4. Possibilities: Recognize new options in every situation

You lose your job. Ouch.

After that, your first interview ends with your interviewer walking you to the door and refusing to give you his email address. Double ouch.

You’re looking for the lessons - what to learn and where to grow. We’ve talked about that. Finding new possibilities and other options is like looking for the lessons, except it’s externally focused instead of internally focused. Looking for lessons is internal. Finding new possibilities is external.

When someone with an abundance mindset is rejected, they let it roll off their back. Instead of focusing on their hurt, they look for new options, possibilities, and opportunities. That interview didn’t work out, so maybe another one will.

Better yet, your skills might be translatable to a different field. This is an opportunity to broaden your job search. Had success in Marketing? Try Product or R&D. Those skills translate.

Find more options other than the obvious options A and B. What’s a win-win here? What door opened? What can you do now that you couldn’t do before?

When something discouraging happens to you, remember to look outward and around. Find a better option. Find the possibilities.

Those new possibilities could look good on you.

5. Gratitude: Keep a gratitude journal or prayer list every day

Expressing gratitude releases positive endorphins in your brain. Do you want to be happy? Endorphins make you happy. That’s literally, physically why you feel happy.

Daily gratitude is the habit of saying, “Thank you!” every day.

I pray daily and often more than once a day. My prayers always include thanking God for what He’s given me - a roof over my head, food to eat, a family to love, and work to do… not to mention eternal life. Expressing that gratitude reminds me of what I have and value. Gratitude is a daily activity that reminds me to look outward at people and try to give back.

Showing gratitude toward a person reminds you of what that person did for you. It solidifies your bond and lends them your happiness, which, in turn, makes you happy again.

It’s difficult to feel restricted and happy at the same time. Following through on daily gratitude will help you out of your scarcity mindset and into an abundance mindset.


All five of these techniques will help you in different ways, but the purpose is the same: being content with what you have and giving to those around you. You’ll be happier, more fulfilled, and more confident when you can adopt an abundance mindset.

Reach out to me at with any questions. I’m happy to help you go from a scarcity mindset to an abundance mindset.


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